Struggling to Find Balance? So Am I. Try This Exercise to Help You Realize That There is Only 1 of You to Go Around.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto

Sometimes, no matter what I do, I feel like I’m always coming up short in one area or another. Can you relate?

I’ve always struggled with perfectionism and finding balance. This article was inspired by a conversation—turned therapy session — that I recently had with my husband. I confessed to him during my downward spiral,

“No matter which way I go, I can’t figure out how to be a COMPLETE success.

If I’m killing with the business, it’s because I’ve been spending too much time working and not with the family. If I’m feeling like a super mom, it’s because I’m neglecting my growing to-do list at work. If my professional life and motherhood are both in check, it’s because I haven’t been exercising enough… calling my mom enough…or being present in our marriage enough…

Nothing is ever enough.”

I felt like I was failing at everything.

I, like many of you, play multiple roles in life. Yes, we are founders, leaders, and innovators, but we are also moms, partners, designers, sisters, lovers, friends, chaperones, chefs, artists, advisors, mentors, builders, and the occasional weekend gardeners.

After much reflection, I realized that if I constantly feel like I’m coming up short, I’m probably setting unrealistic expectations of myself. I can’t give 100% to multiple areas of my life because I am only one human being — it defies logic.

My 100% Life

To help me visualize and eliminate these unrealistic expectations that I knew I had, I came up with this simple exercise, My 100% Life. It helped me see that there is only one of me to go around.

Try it for yourself:

1. Draw a circle that represents you. Think of it as being one whole pie.
2. List out the roles you play in life.
3. Divide up the pie based on your priorities and responsibilities, giving each role a proportionately sized slice. Don’t forget to add a “just me” slice. You focusing on being a better version of yourself is important.
4. Ask yourself, “How am I spending my time and energy? Am I focusing the right amount in the right areas?” Your 100% will need to be divided among many important and competing things, so adjust accordingly. 🤩
5. If you really want to get fancy and precise, make a copy of this Google pie chart and put your own numbers in it.
6. Once you’ve created your drawing, reflect on how you feel after seeing your whole life divided up into smaller pieces.

Here’s what My 100% Life looks like:

Seeing this instantly relieved a lot of stress. Instead of trying to be 100% in all the roles I play, I need to properly divide up my 100% based on my priorities and values. Instead of trying to give 100% to all areas, I need to focus on the opposite: being diligent about not giving 100% to any. I need to stick to the percentage I’ve allocated to it if I want to succeed as a whole and find balance. It’s clear that when I over-give in one area, another important area will be neglected.

Now, if I find myself feeling 100% in one area, I see that as a sign that I’m not succeeding. It’s a negative, not a positive.

I’ve come back to My 100% Life several times since creating it as a reminder of what’s important. I suggest you do the same. We can use them to assess which areas are getting too much of our energy and time, and which are not getting enough.

Did you try the exercise? How did it go? What did it make you feel? I’d love to hear your thoughts below in the comments.

Before you go

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